Fantasma Number 4, November 2020

PDF: Fantasma Number 4


Once a again darkness soaks a new day. I open my eyes and see the past years in fast motion: the jungle with its trees, its undergrowths and its branches which scratched my legs. These one liana which dangled not far from me while i was lost sitting on the ground. I remember like it was yesterday how I reached for it, straightened myself up and took heart again. There was wide green, high rocks, dark caves and deep canyons long after I blazed myself a trail out of the covert. All of a sudden I stepped in front of a gigantic waterfall with its tempting song of deadly maelstrom. Vainly it tried to attracted me from the waterside to ruin me. I walked on. Today the sky is cloudless and it seems to become a good day. I rub the sleep out of my eyes, listen shortly to the busy stillness and then get up from my way too soft mattress. My feet are hurting, they got sore from the long marches through the mist. But it is a good pain because it tells me that I left tracks behind. For all of those, which their life will bring on the same path. I arrived the city now, a new phase of life begins.

Another year past since the last issue of Fantasma got published. Another year in clandestinity that hold ready lots of lessons. Exhausting lessons. Inside us there were two wolves fighting for dominance and the self-flagellation became a permanent background music. “The next issue, come on, do the next issue!“ was the booming dogma that got louder and louder in our ears. Up until the point we had been so fed up from ourself, that we were ready to pull the plug and give up the newspaper. Paradoxically these fatalism created a moment of stillness in which we could let go; in which we were able to resolve the compulsive feeling of publishing another issue, come hell or high water. We took our hands off the wheel and relieved we were preparing us for the crash.

To our surprise no accident was the result but finding a new route. Emotionally more distanced we gained a new momentum for the fourth issue of Fantasma without demanding anymore that it will return us to the field of social struggle. We recognize and appreciate it as a small and one-side inscribed signpost on the way into the unknown. The same as the book Incognito was a signpost for us back then, when our adventure commenced. We are also looking forward to the inscription of the other side of the signpost – from already left-behinds for (coming) left-behinds from people on the run. To talk about experiences and create some reference points what direction could be taken and what mis-steps could be avoided. There is still much to say and share about

Until the next issue!

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This entry was posted on Monday, November 9th, 2020 at 10:16 am and is filed under Library.